December 9, 2010

What, most simply, can you surrender to this week?

I am surrendering to the things I have no control over. Lately, I have not been very impeccable with the words that come through my lips. I feel like I have been complaining a lot about this and that- about work, and being too busy, that I am creating misery in my life by doing this. It’s not very yogic of me, to say the least.
There’s a HUGE lack of yamas and tapas here.

I read in a recent article in Yoga Journal a little inspiration in this direction as well. “Shift your perspective”, advises Sue Frederick, the author of Dancing at Your Desk: A Metaphysical Guide to Job Happiness and Brilliant Day: 7 Quick Solutions to Turn Your Day Around. “Focusing on problems brings you to the low end of your energy continuum,” explains the longtime meditator. “Start thinking about solutions, and your energy shifts.””
In this article she explains the ways meditation can truly help the way you feel at work too, and meditating is what I intend to do to help make this change. I’ve been working up to 3 sits per week, but I’m in a place now where I am doing it every morning before my yoga practice. I’ve even been sneaking in my pranayama practice on my lunch break.

I know for a fact that I have been wasting my sacred energy on things out of my control, and that is possibly one of the reasons I am so tired and quite honestly, so grumpy some times. It occurred to me when I was talking with Paul the other night, I was rehearsing the same old frustration at work with him, when he kindly, and wisely asked me if there was any way I could focus on the good things at work instead of the bad.(I have thought of this, but hearing him say it to me, at that moment, in this sweet way, helped tremendously). He also asked if what was happening really had all that much to do with me and my work, or if I could allow it to just be there, and again, focus on the positive stuff. I had previously told him that the “crap” i was putting up with was about 10% of my experience, but i was allowing it to override all the sweet stuff the kids do, and put me in a bad mood. He’s so right. There is a lot of stuff I love about my job. It was such a refreshing reminder.

So, my intention is to let go or surrender to the things I have no control over, and put my focus on what is good, or what I like and enjoy instead of holding on to the things others do like they are mine to carry around. This really just makes me laugh to think about all the time I have been wasting mulling over, talking about, and wrapping myself up in these stories about why it’s soooo bad. I am letting go of the stories I have made. Ive had my gloves on, and I’ve been dueling with someone elses reality. How silly!