August 25, 2010

After thinking more about ‘satya’ and reading some more about it, I realized 2 areas in my life where I could use more truth. The first one popped up quickly. It’s not that I tell lies to people or hold back the truth, but sometimes I can be too honest. Sometimes it’s an eruption. I really enjoy the guidelines Alicia mentioned about “Is it appropriate? Is is kind? Is it true”. I have heard this before, but never truly made it a habit. I am now making it an intention. I tend to give people advice, and there are times when I feel like it’s being channeled, but other times I am moreover speaking directly to myself. And I usually always let the person know that that’s why I am so passionate about it; because I am or have been working on it too. Someone brought up a good point though, about where am I coming from? Am I coming from a place of “Look, I know all the answers!” or “Wow, I can see your struggle, and I have some insight if you want to hear it.” I think I have both sides, but I would like to veer towards the latter as much as possible. With this I think I will connect more deeply with my friend, family and new aquaintances.

The second truth (I don’t like to admit I fall short of) is keeping my commitments. Most importantly and more commonly those commitments I make to myself. I think I have gotten a lot better over the past few years of following through with others, but I have a long way to go when it comes to myself. I have a lot of great ideas and am presented with a lot of opportunities, but somehow talk myself out of doing it. With art, “I don’t have time”. With making jewelry, “I have to clean the kitchen”. And even with yoga (which I have greatly improved on doing no matter what the little voice says lately), I would find some reason not to go, even though every time I do, I meet someone who inspires me, I hear something meaningful, I grow through my focus, or I just end class bowing to my decision to come every time.

So, I think for me being true to myself is the biggest challenge for me. Yes, I want to be more cautious of the things I say to others, and I don’t see that being too difficult if I keep in mind the 3 major guidelines of is it necessary? kind? and true? I am going to become a better listener in implementing this tool into my communication, that’s for sure. But, as far as what I do with my personal commitments, I need to really step up and talk back to my mind to say, “I am driving this car, and I know what is best, so Shhhhh!(to the egoic mind) We are doing this because it’s good for me, and all your excuses aren’t holding me back anymore.” I hope in doing this I will be more productive and more fulfilled.


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